Finally, a little excitement!

I spent my weekend on the beach of Pattaya...a pleasant, uneventful mini-holiday including lots of sand, sun, surf, eating and drinking!  Basically, your typical weekend beach get-away.

On a more exciting note, here is what's happening in my part of the world:

On Friday, Chitralada Palace Grounds (my place of work and residence of the Royal Family) were shut down along with the Grand Palace Grounds.  The People's Alliance for Democracy managed to break through a police force 10,000 strong to seize the Government House.

A little background:  There are two parties: PAD and People's Power Party.  PPP are currently ruling government.  The PAD have been protesting since December, with things coming to a head in the past month.  Two years ago, there was a coup in which the Prime Minister (Thaksin) stepped down.  In a nutshell, PAD believes the current government to be a puppet of Thaksin and want to see Parliament dissolved with new elections held.  There are also accusations of crooked politics, PAD opposing amendments to the Constitution and lots of other details.  Thankfully, the police/military have said they will not use violence.  Tomorrow (Monday) will be the debate in Senate, followed by the Prime Minister (Samak) answering charges by the opposition.

So as it stands, Government House is still under siege, although they are trying to avoid another coup like that of 2006.  Either way, my surprise long weekend is over and it looks like it will be back to work for me tomorrow :(   

On an entirely unrelated news note, a school in northern Thailand has opened a unisex bathroom geared especially toward its transvestite students.  Sweet victory for lady-boys across the countryside!

 

Peace,

 

My Factbook to Date

Yesterday, I began my 23rd year.  It seems to follow naturally that birthdays and the New Year are excellent times for reflection and self-examination.  Mine consisted mostly of sushi and ice cream, but also a bit of the former.  I've decided to begin a list of my truths and lessons learned...not so much a World Factbook, but my very own Life Factbook, if you will.  Definitely a work in progress.

I recognize how enormously fortunate I have been...just a year out of college and I have seen more of the world than most people will in their lifetime.  I am thankful to be a woman, I am thankful to be educated and articulate, I am thankful to have parents who supported me through college so that I now have the financial independence to send myself to places like Africa and Asia.  

So for those interested parties (or if you are just particularly bored on a Tuesday night) I present to you The Factbook (a work in progress), according to yours truly:

1)  Humans could learn a lot from dogs.  I think most particularly of my canine friends Einstein and Ben: they love all, without regard to gender, color, religion or smell; they are fiercely loyal and will fight to the death to defend those they love and finally --as I think of Ben running wild through the park creek with my sister's dogs-- they play with reckless abandon.

2)  Nothing cures a hangover quite like a good Bloody.  Better yet, to avoid hangovers, use my trick: when furiously consuming copious amounts of alcohol, always best to have one glass of water between drinks.  Just try it. 

3)  Our world is getting smaller and smaller. Be kind. Share. Make an effort not to take more than you need, whether that be water, paper or ketchup packets at Burger King. 

4)  And on that note; GIVE.  It's amazing how quickly you shrink wrap your world by being selfish.  There will never be a good time for being generous...you will never have enough time or enough money. Sacrifice. And donating your used, crap clothing is not sacrifice. Yes, it is thoughtful and well-intentioned, but true sacrifice is giving up something you yourself want/enjoy/need for another person.  At the end, we cannot take anything here with us.  So read bedtime stories to your children even after a long day, visit your granny, sponsor an orphan. 

5)  Now, this one might push some buttons, but bare with me.  Memo to the World: stop fighting about damn religion.  Stop trying to prove yourselves right. There are more than 6 billion people in the world and something greater is out there...we are all just worshipping and believing in different ways, colored by our own lives and experiences. No one owns the rights to God. No one has a monopoly on what that is. The less we focus on complicated doctrines, traditions, rules (and exceptions) and hell, even sin, the better.  Before I get irate comments, this is not to say that I don't respect religion. In fact, I find beauty and guidance in religion. Alls I'm saying is, it doesn't have to be so difficult: focus more on living our lives in the way of love, compassion and service. That's all.

6)  Denim overalls will never come back. Never. Just throw them away already.

7)  There is nothing more beautiful in a woman than confidence.  In Thailand, women bleach their skin because lighter is better. In Ghana, a woman with extra meat on her bones is ideal.  In Texas, women spend a lot of money going blonde and lying in tanning beds.  The moral? Your looks will never be attractive to everyone, so best to be attractive in your own eyes.  Standards of beauty not only change from culture to culture, but over time as well.  Instead of fighting nature, we'd all be much happier working with what we have.

8)  From Holland: Work hard to play hard.  It is wonderful to have a job you enjoy.  But we must also be mindful that a job does not define our total person.  A job is not who we are, it's what we do. We are so much more than who signs our paycheck.  There are many things in life to enjoy; indulge. If you find joy in even the smallest thing, treat yourself.  It might be a glass of good red wine and a cigarette, or wearing expensive perfume. Whatever it is, don't feel guilty finding something that makes you feel good.

9)  From Africa:  Love. Love all, all the time. Humanity shares more in common than it has differences. It's time we embrace that.  Be joyful. Not just when you get the chance; always.  And finally: hope. Sometimes, the world seems so bleak.  It only takes 10 minutes of the evening news to want to lock yourself up in a bunker and not come out for 50 years. Don't do that. Stay out here and fight the good fight. Why were the refugees in Ghana so happy? Because, despite their hardships, they had an unfailing, honest, gritty, unbreakable belief in the future. In what could be. They have faith that things will get better. They live with hope.

10)  From Asia:  Presence.  Live fully in this moment, here and now.  Let yourself be blown away by the beauty of this life and the opportunities and experience it provides you.  Do not be past, do not be future, simply be now.  I think that when I am wrinkly and toothless with blue hair, I won't regret the things I did, I will regret the things I didn't do.  I have no greater fear in life (other than heights) than to look in the mirror 30 years from now and not recognize the face.  Being present doesn't mean being irresponsible, it doesn't mean massively expensive trips that take you around the world. Rather, live for the moment. Explore and discover. Push your envelope.

11)  Wear SPF 45 on your face, neck and chest every day--even if it's overcast--because that is the skin that ages the fastest; therefore betraying your age when you are a woman in your 50s trying to flirt with the cute new junior associate!

12)  Note to self: bungee jumping will not cure a fear of heights.        

Finally, a few pics!

Just a few pictures to show...more to come later!  To establish a time frame for uploading these 4 photos, I read an entire chapter of Atlas Shrugged while waiting. 

The first is with my fine culinary creation of som tum.  The second is [part of] the city.  If you notice the red billboard in the center, my apartment is just to the left. The third is me and Morgan helping to make some Thai dessert of coconut milk, corn and pumpkin.  The last is me with my spoils of war: my friends and I won Trivia night at the Dubliner, thereby earning ourselves 7 glorious liters of beer! 

Snot Stew

I must sheepishly admit that clearly, I am not on top of my Blogging game.  So readers, allow me to update you all on the last 10 days of my life:

The weekend before last, I enjoyed a perfect Bangkok Saturday.  One of the Thai teachers, Namon, invited us to a Thai-style cook out.  I went with my friends Morgan and Cayla to a quasi-family-compound.  Four houses with a shared courtyard and garden, with different members of the extended family in each house.  We spent no less than 3 hours cooking.  My "apartment" is actually a dorm room without so much as a toaster oven, so cooking in a real kitchen was delightful.  Ok, so maybe it would have been a bit nicer with air-conditioning, but c'est la vie.  The ladies were gracious enough to teach us how to make som tom, one of Thailand's most famous dishes.  A very spicy salad made with shredded papaya, tomatoes, peanuts, chilies and lime.  We also tried our hand at cooking Thai omelets, which are nothing more than eggs beat with some spices, fish sauce and cooked in a giant wok with approximately 3 gallons of oil.  When all was said and done, we had a massive spread including som tom, omelets, grilled chicken, barbecued chicken, crispy pork, some strange form of wanton-wrapped pork, Thai sausage, sticky rice, a bunch of other stuff I don't remember and more fruits than I care to name.  

A word on being vegetarian in Thailand: it is nearly impossible.  Silly me, I naturally assumed Thailand would be an overflowing land of milk, honey and tofu. Not so much.  No kidding, every single time I have been out to eat and asked for "no meat" (in Thai, no less!) they smile politely and quickly return with a dish full of pork. Every. Time.  At least they have an equal affinity for fruits and vegetables.

...but I digress.

After hours of eating ourselves into near-food-comas, the ladies insisted on teaching us to cook shrimp fried rice and tom yum (hot & sour soup made with white fish and lemon grass) which they packed up and sent home with us.  Namon took us to a great open-air market for a little shopping, which was fantastic until the skies opened up on us and Namon and I had to push a Toyota out of the way that was blocking us in. Yeah.

I wish I could report that I have been indulging in ridiculous, tourist-booky activities, but alas there is one problem with living in an exotic Asian city: I live here.  Meaning: I am categorically not on vacation.  No, I have not seen the great Emerald Buddha. Nor have I gone north to ride elephants, I have not been to a "ping-pong" show (Google that only if you must, but don't say I didn't warn you) I haven't even toured the Grand Palace Grounds.  I have a laundry list of things to see, but Monday to Friday, I leave for work promptly at 7 am, don't return home until about 5 pm, at which point I unwind for a bit before I take off for the gym, not returning home until nearly 9. Then, of course, I read and go to bed.  This means my weekends are left for spine-tingling excursions like trips to the supermarket, hand-washing and line-drying my laundry and cleaning my little shoebox living quarters.  

Not to worry, I promise to have adventures asap!  

As for work, my no-longer-preggo counterpart has actually been replaced by Nudon, my new teaching partner.  She spent 8 years in Virginia, for college and graduate school.  She speaks great English and we get along famously.  It's been more challenging than I expected giving up my autonomy and trying to mesh styles, but we're making it work.  Dare me to tell you a really gross story?  Ok!

The other day, Nudon was teaching new material in Thai (easier for the kids to learn this way and then I am able to take over in English) so I was walking around the classroom monitoring (I now have an entire desk drawer full of contraband: erasers made into magical launching pads, rulers transformed into swords, pens morphed into rocket-launchers, etc) when I witnessed a sight so horrifying, it must be shared with the world via Internet...

As I am walking around, I notice T. (I will not use his full name in order to protect his privacy...he will likely appreciate this in 10 years, so that future girlfriends will never find out the truth) sneeze. Now, like a good gentleman, T. covers his mouth with his hand when sneezing. However, not so gentlemanly was what followed: the accursed sneeze, is the body's moment of ultimate exhibitionism, when the sinuses gloriously--shamelessly--reveal to the world what had previously been hidden in the cavernous darkness of our nostrils. Generally, this is nothing more than harmless spittle. But sometimes, as in the case of T., the sneeze also expels something far more sinister: snot.  And so, after covering his face to sneeze, I notice T. take away his hand with said snottiness attached. Wait, it gets better (or worse, if that's your prerogative)...he then pauses a moment, before sniffing the offending mass of mucus.  And wait, waaaait; then, horror of horrors: LICKS IT.  Apparently, his 12-year-old self could not be troubled to excuse himself to wash his hands. No, no, licking up his snot was clearly a far better solution, as now I am sure it frees up his time to find answers to pressing issues like: the global food crisis, cancer and just what happens to the other sock in the dryer.  I tried not to stare. Worst part is, T. is one of my favorite students...one of those who listens sweetly and always offers to carry workbooks to the office.  Hence, he also happens to be one of the affectionate kiddos. Yeah, "affectionate" as in, uses his [apparently snotty] hands to physically contact me. gasp!  *Note to self: must invest in haz-mat suit, stat.*

Forget what they say....kids: they eat the darndest things!      

Ajaan Bobbi

I have survived 12 days of teaching...friends, this is no small feat.  The day I turned 15, I started my first job waiting tables and continued that trend until I graduated college.  Thanks to those years in the food service industry, I maintain that all people should wait tables at least once in their lifetime.  You really can't appreciate all that hack until you actually deal with people who ask things like, "does the cheeseburger come with cheeeeeese on it?"  Not to mention, when you live on $2.13 an hour before Uncle Sam, you learn to appreciate living on tips and the finesse needed to master the perfect superficial smile/courtesy laugh.

Now, I am not changing my tune, merely adding a new verse: all people should wait tables and teach at least once in their lifetime.  You really can't appreciate all that hack until you actually deal with children asking you, "Teacher, how old are you? 47? No? Younger? 45?"  Boy, that cheeseburger is sounding mighty fine about now.

In all seriousness, I enjoy teaching.  In our classrooms, all farang teachers are paired with a Thai teacher.  The class is split in half by language ability.  My students are a classic bell curve, with a handful being extremely advanced or completely clueless, with the rest falling somewhere in the middle.  Unfortunately, my counterpart is on maternity leave so I have been flying solo.  Factor in a staggering language barrier and 125 6th grade students and you have a recipe for near disaster...or at least extreme frustration.  However, I've somehow managed to keep my cool without the assistance of only-legal-in-Southeast-Asia-pharmeceutical-grade-downers.  

I will admit however, that I am a bit jealous of my fellow American teachers at Chitralada Prathom (Chritralada Elementary)...they are generally blessed with young children in sweet braids who hang on every word their shiny new teacher spews.  I have the curse of preteens who are a) completely and utterly over me and b) much like Basset Hounds, smell a little strong and have zero desire to please anyone.  

On the other hand, I have the blessing of young personalities.  I am slowly learning names and by Day One, could already identify unique personas in my little pubescent herd.  In every class, I have the advanced individuals (generally, the children of foreign diplomats who like to proudly inform me that, "they know the 'F' word!"), the helpers (who collect workbooks and carry them to my office), the class clowns (who, incidentally, also know the 'F' word), the shy itty-bits in the back, the populars and the rebels.  

Oddly enough, I feel myself transported back to the 6th grade...desperately wanting these kids approval. I want them to like me.  I know it is completely naive to hope that at the end of 10 months they might actually (gasp!) look forward to my class. But one can hope, yes?   

Naturally, my students (and everyone else in Thailand, for that matter) struggles with pronouncing "Phyllis."  That means my name has officially been changed to Bobbi.  Ajaan (teacher) Bobbi at that!  For a job I never imagined having, I am loving teaching.  Cheesy as it sounds, I feel a lot of pride being called Teacher.  It really has nothing to do with ego, honest.  It is simply that I now realize what a gift it is to teach.  For all its difficulties, at the end of the day, there is a really good feeling to not just possessing knowledge, but also the ability to effectively share it with other people. 

Because let's face it, 90% of my job is making my students believe that I've known for a lifetime what I just taught myself [that morning] about past imperfect irregular verbs.  

But hey, at least I'm not living off tips anymore.