The Land of Smiles

27 hours, 3 flights, countless airplane meals and many, many mini-bottles of wine...I am in my new home!

The flights were uneventful and we arrived after midnight on Tuesday.  We got to the apartment building after 1 am and had to be at work at 9:00 the same day.  Whew! Talk about exhaustion! Our first few days were spent at work, preparing for classes (which begin Monday) and getting settled with things like internet and cell phones. 

I've quickly decided that one year will not even scratch the surface of this city.  With a population of some 9 million, Bangkok is HUGE.  It is also dirty, overpopulated, polluted, loud and jarring...funny thing is, I absolutely love it here.  I feel very comfortable in the big city.  I definitely will never be able to go back to living in a place like Dallas again.  It would just be too...conventional  ;)  

A word on heat in Bagkok:  it is oppressive.  At just 2 feet above sea level, we are considered a tropical monsoon climate.  It rains daily and the heat is like nothing I experienced in Texas.  Even at night, the temperature hovers in the mid to high 80s, with at least 60% humidity...and that's the relief after the sun goes down.  I cannot express how thankful I am for having almost no hair!  If I had a Native American tribal name, I believe it would go something like this: "Bobbi, woman who is one with her sticky sweatiness and embraces with whole heart the stinky."  Yeah, something like that.  In speaking with a couple of friends, we have noticed an unattractive symptom of humid heat: swollen feet.  The flats I bought for work specifically for their comfort are now little torture chambers cleverly disguised as patent leather cuteness. Lies!  An hour into my day, my heels and toes are puffy, red and can barely squeeze into flip-flops.  This is only compounded by the fact that I am now sweating out of pores I never knew existed on my body.

Do you know what else all this damp heat leads to?  You guessed it: mosquitoes.  Again, like nothing in Texas.  No, no.  These bitches make Texas mosquitoes look like a nice summer visitor you might invite over for a slice of lemon pie.  Thai mosquitoes are so big they could fly a jet liner and they are out for blood.  I swear, one bit me this afternoon and it actually fell over on my arm and with blood-bloated belly asked if I might kindly hail him a cab for home.  I swear. 

In short, I am a sweaty, jet-lagged, mess of mountainous mosquito bites.  Still, I have what the Thai call "suk jai."

Translation:  happy heart.

Free falling

One hour to the airport and I am just about finished packing...

In January, one of my best friends -Adam- wanted to bungee jump to celebrate his birthday.  I thought this would help me overcome my intense phobia of heights.  I was shackled down with harnesses and with heavily weighted ankles, climbed some 100 feet of scaffolding.  At the top, I was seized with panic...losing all control over my body, I could not make the jump.  

I have returned the keys to my apartment, signed over the title of my car, given away my furniture and packed away what is left.  My entire life is held in a few file boxes in a closet at my parent's house...the rest is in my suitcase.  Owning so little is a feeling of great freedom...it's liberating.  Because the day I spend $1400 on a coffee table, will be the day when possessions start ruling my life and anchoring me down.  

So here we go...

Climb up...don't look down.

Let go of the safety bars...arms over chest.  Close your eyes.

A deep breath...in...out. Now...

1...

     2...

          3....

                            JUMP.

The fool in me

I have to be at the airport in 11 hours and naturally, I am just now beginning to pack...I have a long night ahead of me with the Radiohead concert and all.

My sister made the good point that I ought to explain my move to Thailand...Professor Kay Mueller of the Sociology department created a partnership recruiting Baylor graduates to teach at the Chitralada Palace School.  I was offered a position last year, but turned it down for several reasons.  When the opportunity presented itself again, I had to take it.  How often does a once in a lifetime chance come at you twice?  

I will be teaching conversational english at the Prathom Elementary School on the Palace grounds.  My contract is for one year, with the option to renew.  My only anxiety going into this is the idea of teaching, but I will certainly get the hang of it. As far as moving to another country, I don't see it any differently than moving from Dallas to Ft. Worth.  

Really, there is nothing I enjoy more than having Life come along, surprise me with a left-hook, box my ears, grab me by the ankles, shake me around, steal my milk money and muss up my hair.  At which point, I can straighten myself and with a chin propped up by nothing more than a little pride and a whole lot of gusto, look Life square in the eyes and say, "Oh yeah? What else ya got?"

On other hand, I often wonder if things would be easier if I were a bit more conventional...if I could just be content to stay in Dallas and get married.  Instead, here I am, a young, tattooed woman who cuts off all her hair and casually announces she will be moving to Asia.  I believe Theodore Rubin said it best: "I must learn to love the fool in me: the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries."

...ya know, I think he's right. I don't think I'd have myself any other way. 

everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

Last night I dreamed of Thailand...

Although fleeting, the vision was vivid.  One of those strange moments where- behind the backs of my eyelids and deep into my mind- I was able to smell and touch.  

I remember being in an endless ocean, which was at once blue and completely clear. I could feel the water, which was only waist-deep, anchor the trunk of my body. I was surrounded by music and people...all different kinds. We did not all speak the same language, yet I somehow understood every word. I was not afraid. 

Here is what I remember most: looking above, the sky seemed absolutely endless, unattainable. Then, these new friends took turns throwing me into the air...somehow, I touched the heavens. It was euphoria and harmony, both.

I pray it is just like that, just as I imagined.

Please, God, let it feel just like that.