A real prize winner.

I don't like New Year's Resolutions. This is because once I'm told not to do something, I have no choice but to do it. Call this a personality flaw. Call it rebellious. Whatever. Instead, I opt for New Year's Bonuses. These are things I take on to make my life better. Last year I started sponsoring a little girl in Guatemala to go to school. The year before that I started drinking at least 32 ounces of water daily. This year PB and I started making a trip to the Farmer's Market every Saturday. Our challenge is cooking one dinner per week made exclusively from local vendors. It's been a fun learning experience coming up with our own recipes unique to what is local and in season here in Central Texas.

Last week I made the trip solo and got there less than an hour before closing. The guys at San Miguel Seafood hooked me up in a big way...I was hoping for a couple nice filets, but they were out of absolutely everything except whole fish. I was hesitant but they offered me a 2 lb., 11 oz. Red Snapper for only 10 bucks. Can't say no to the end-of-day deals.

At any rate, I also snatched up some mustard greens and baby collards before heading out. I felt pretty great with my giant fish in his ziplock bag and was instantly transported to being a kid at the State Fair of Texas. And folks, the State Fair is a big effing deal here in Texas....

I remember this one time, maybe I was eight or nine, and our family went to the State Fair. In the game area, I became absolutely obsessed (in only the way a child can really, truly, obsess) with winning this giant, plush, stuffed Coca-Cola can (scarily successful marketing). I'll never remember what the game was, but that I played it incessantly for more than hour. I used all my money just trying for enough tickets to get that stupid plush Coca-Cola can. At the end, I had enough to get some crappy consolation prize. Whatever it was, it was small and worthless compared to what I had been trying for. The Fair was closing down and I was dejected. At that moment, I probably should have learned that no matter how hard we try, we don't always get a good deal. But instead, I felt small and insignificant. I felt I'd been cheated and taken advantage of...the man running the game got all my money, after all!

I walked away and Mom asked me how my game went. I explained to her my disappointment. For the record, neither my Mom nor Dad were ever "helicopter" parents: instead, they fostered some serious independence and free-thinking in all of us. So I was surprised when my Mom turned around, marched over to the game booth and made a case for me. I watched within earshot as Mom asked this goober if it would really hurt anything for me to trade out my little toy with the big one I really wanted and had worked so hard to win. He flatly replied "no," and that is pretty much where things ended...although in my fantasy world, Mom decks the guy in the face.

...Anyway, back at the Farmers' Market, I felt my giant fish needed a name. After all, people were staring at the two of us together. I called him Barney. PB and I read up on cooking Barney whole, with his head intact. We rubbed him in olive oil, sea salt, and cracked pepper, and stuffed him with fresh tarragon and sliced dancing tangerines. Yes, Barney was absolutely delicious. We sat outside on the deck with wine, enjoying our good fortune.

As I savored our prize winning fish, I thought back to that day at the State Fair. I remembered that life isn't always fair, it isn't always nice. That some people think everything is black and white. That "rules is rules." But I also learned family will fight the good fight for you.

And some twenty years and a few hundred miles south, I learned that sometimes your very best efforts really can go rewarded.